This article involves me recalling some very painful
memories from my youth. To give you some background, I was born in a town in Wales
and moved to Oxford when I was
eight years old. My father had a new job in Oxford
so we all moved. He is from a Bristol-Welsh family and worked as an engineer
until he retired about ten years ago. My mother was a Dutchwoman who met my dad
in the '60's while he was at university in Birmingham
and she was working as an au pair. When my brother and I were old enough to
attend school my mum went to work as a cinema usherette. By then she was in her
early thirties and one day she decided to get an education. She did evening
classes in psychology and eventually got a degree; this allowed her to train as
a relationship counsellor and she worked as one for about ten years after that
until she had to retire early because of ill health. The training course was in
Rugby , Warwickshire and involved several periods of residential
tuition lasting a few weeks. One day when she came home from one of these stays
she had this old Scottish lady with her called Isabel. It was pretty clear
before long that the two of them had become good friends. It's possibly more
accurate to say that Isabel adopted my mum. My dad once told me himself that
"Isabel is her mother." In this way she became what you might call my
step-grandmother. She was a huge part of our lives, essentially a new member of
the family. I endured this for the next eight years; in fact until I left home
aged twenty. I'm not going to describe in detail what this period of my life
was like for two reasons; firstly, I can't remember all of it, but secondly
because it is still too upsetting to put it into words. Basically, my mother's
behaviour and personality changed considerably while Isabel was around. Isabel
was there in our house almost every day even though she had her own home; just
like "Centaur", see: https://hpanwo.blogspot.com/2009/01/eyes-of-centaur.html.
Isabel would turn up in the morning and demand to be served with coffee. She
did this politely unless I was the one present; then she would bark rudely at
me as if I were a servant. When she was present my mum used to speak to me in a
similar tone. The two of them also used to talk about me in a very critical way
as if I were not there, although they did this intentionally knowing I could
hear them. For me, a twelve-year-old boy, I didn't understand what was
happening other than it filled me with a huge amount of sadness. Years later I
realized that this was because Isabel was turning my mother against me. Talking
to Isabel in any capacity was uncomfortable and confusing. She seemed to have an
almost magical way of bamboozling me, tying me up in mental knots. She only
ever did this to me, not my brother or my dad. Even the rest of the family
admitted she had a weird fixation with me. It was not until many years after I
left home that I found out who Isabel actually was. Her full name was Isabel
Menzies-Lyth and she is one of the most infamous names in the history of
psychological warfare. Here is a page about her: https://melanie-klein-trust.org.uk/writers/isabel-menzies-lyth/.
Here is an interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wsw9YBEBas.
Isabel was also the inspiration for my own character Millicent, see: http://hpanwo-bb.blogspot.com/2017/10/roswell-revealed-is-here.html.
The revelation of Isabel's identity led to more questions,
such as: why us? Or more precisely, why me? My family are not important people.
Our background is best described as what in the UK
is known as "skilled working class". My mother was one of several
dozen students on the counselling course, so why did Isabel latch onto her?
What was somebody of Isabel's prominence in the field of psychology even doing getting
involved with lowly relationship counsellors' training? I had to ask whether
she had inserted herself into our family on a mission. Was all this done to try
and break me down? To bring me back to normality. I have always had open-minded
ideas my whole life. Even though I have only been in full conspiratorial
awareness since the mid-90's when I was already grown up, before then as a
child I had some distinct basic interests. My childhood memories are sketchy,
but I did consume many junior readers' books on esoteric mysteries, such as Usborne's
"World of the Unknown" collection, see: https://usborne.com/gb/the-world-of-the-unknown-ghosts-9781474976688
and: https://usborne.com/gb/the-world-of-the-unknown-monsters-9781801312486
and: https://usborne.com/gb/the-world-of-the-unknown-ufos-9781474992152.
Things like this could have raised red flags; or maybe it was something else
about me; something I've not even thought of yet. I score very high on the
empathy scale, see: https://hpanwo-voice.blogspot.com/2019/12/the-empath-test_11.html.
In today's society, this is informally regarded as an "empathic
disorder". I remember being sent to see educational psychologists several
times from about the age of eight. When I was about eleven I underwent
something called "Education for Living" in which I was taken out of
my normal class about three times a week and coached by a psychologist.
I don't know all the answers and maybe never will. My mother
died in 2006 and Isabel followed her in 2008. However, I have recently come
across some archived pages that had been doing the rounds a few years ago on
Rense.com, a few other sites and eventually 4Chan. They suggest there are
covert programmes for identifying certain personality traits in children, those
that might make them troublesome adults in years to come. They were allegedly
run by the Tavistock Institute and called "GATE"; this is apparently
an acronym for something not explained. Once identified, a child could be given
the right "treatment" to prevent them developing along their natural progression
lines and instead divert them into a more conventional mindset. Was I one of
those children? There is a questionnaire in one of the articles that might give
me a clue. I've filled it in. My answers are in italics.
Physical Characteristics
Blue eyes: No.
Forehead scar(s): No.
Occipital bun (aka "math bump"): Yes.
Psychological Characteristics
High IQ: Don't know exactly, but I believe I am above average intelligence.
Interest in ("out
there") phenomena: You could say
that!
INTJ: This is a Myers-Briggs personality inventory designation. No, I am ENFJ.
Intuitive: Yes.
Meme magic: Don't know what that means.
Memory loss: Yes.
Migraines: No.
Moral intensity/strong sense of justice: Yes, very much.
Premonitions/prophetic dreams: Sometimes.
Life History
Birth complications (e.g. premature, not breathing): Yes, my mum had rubella and the doctors thought I might be stillborn.
Firstborn son: Yes.
Early speech therapy: Yes.
Near death experiences, especially drowning: No.
Leniency from authority figures: No. The opposite in fact!
Late teens/early
twenties heavy drug use: No.
J*** art student girlfriend(s): No, and I have never considered J*** as relevant, see: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2017/06/jews.html.
Tendency toward being followed, abducted, tracked, or gangstalked: Maybe, certainly with Isabel and Centaur.
Administered special
juice, especially banana flavoured: Yes, strangely enough; in the form of
medicine for sore throats and earache.
Source: https://rentry.co/gate-general.
So my responses are a bit borderline. I'm not sure what else
I can find out. How can I learn more? I could ask my dad, but he tends to clam
up when I raise subjects to do with our family's past; but you never know
because he is at least willing to be a bit more open with me about certain
subjects, see: https://hpanwo-voice.blogspot.com/2023/08/my-dad-asked-me-about-ufos.html.
One thing's for sure. There are questions that need answering. Something is not
right with my family and there is no everyday explanation for some of the
things that have happened to me during my life. Today, I have a very different
personality to all the rest of my family. None of them share my interests.
See here for more background: https://hpanwo-voice.blogspot.com/2021/10/ive-had-missing-time.html.
And: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2021/10/ive-had-missing-time.html.
And: https://hpanwo-radio.blogspot.com/2012/12/programme-25-podcast-cathi-morgan.html.
Physical Characteristics
Blue eyes: No.
Forehead scar(s): No.
Occipital bun (aka "math bump"): Yes.
Psychological Characteristics
High IQ: Don't know exactly, but I believe I am above average intelligence.
INTJ: This is a Myers-Briggs personality inventory designation. No, I am ENFJ.
Meme magic: Don't know what that means.
Migraines: No.
Moral intensity/strong sense of justice: Yes, very much.
Premonitions/prophetic dreams: Sometimes.
Life History
Birth complications (e.g. premature, not breathing): Yes, my mum had rubella and the doctors thought I might be stillborn.
Early speech therapy: Yes.
Near death experiences, especially drowning: No.
Leniency from authority figures: No. The opposite in fact!
J*** art student girlfriend(s): No, and I have never considered J*** as relevant, see: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2017/06/jews.html.
Tendency toward being followed, abducted, tracked, or gangstalked: Maybe, certainly with Isabel and Centaur.
Source: https://rentry.co/gate-general.
See here for more background: https://hpanwo-voice.blogspot.com/2021/10/ive-had-missing-time.html.
And: https://hpanwo-tv.blogspot.com/2021/10/ive-had-missing-time.html.
And: https://hpanwo-radio.blogspot.com/2012/12/programme-25-podcast-cathi-morgan.html.
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