Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Sheila's Funeral

As regular HPANWO-readers will know, my daughter's grandmother, Sheila, died recently; see: I say "recently", but it was way back on the 8th of August. However we couldn't hold her funeral until today; that's almost three months. It shouldn't normally take this long between a person passing away and their funeral taking place, but there's been a scandal in Oxford over long delays for funerals. It's very undignified for people's bodies to pile up in undertakers' morgues while the grieving relatives, distraught at their loss, have to sit around waiting for the chance to bid their loved one farewell. The local newspaper has covered it, see: and our local MP Andrew Smith has taken up the cause. I've given Andrew Smith a lot of stick over the years. He was one of "Tony's cronies" and was Blair's Chief Treasurer and Employment Secretary, however I very much respect him for taking a stand on this issue. The problem comes when people who can't afford to pay for a funeral apply for special Government benefits to fund it; Sheila's family is one of those, see: The moment we applied to this office for benefits they dragged their heels and dithered for such a long time that we became suspicious. Then the story about Michael Walton came out and we realized that the office was, in all likelihood, stalling funeral expenses benefit claims on purpose. The reason was simply money; they're so terrified of straying over their budget that they've decided to do something as desperate and reckless as this. This is all thanks the Government's "Austerity" policies! Expect much more of this to come in the years ahead. The truth of the matter is that economic depressions and booms are not a natural cycle at all; they are triggered artificially by the Banksters, a term coined by Anthony J Hilder many years before it entered the popular lexicon. Sheila is actually one of about six recently-deceased people in Oxford who have had this problem.

Sheila's funeral took place at Oxford Crematorium and was simple but very sweet. All her family turned up and flowers were sent from her many friends, even those who live in Canada whom she hasn't seen for years. The vicar from her local church was a very nice man, and he spoke very kindly about her; we had live organ music playing some hymns. We also had played a recording of two songs by Tom Jones, Sheila's favourite singer. After that we went back to her son's house for a wake while Sheila's body was taken away to be cremated. A budget funeral or an expenses-paid funeral doesn't have to be any less fitting and respectful than the Queen Mother's. However the long wait has played heavily on the family's nerves; the vicar mentioned during his sermon that "there's a lot of anger associated with Sheila's passing." I think things are getting so bad that I might just arrange to leave my body to medical science. Alternatively, if I know I'm on my last legs I might just go to some remote piece of woodland and lie down in the middle of it, away from any paths, and let the foxes and crows have me. See here for background: Obviously I hope to live to see the day when we the people can enjoy a happier world, but naturally this is not certain; I could be run over by a proverbial bus or come a cropper in countless other ways before my time, so I need to take precautions. In some parts of Africa it's traditional to have a big feast after somebody dies and the main course on the menu is... the body of the deceased! Yes, it's even considered a mark of respect to eat somebody who's died! Of course in our society we have a taboo against cannibalism and the very concept is shocking, but I have to ask myself if it's any less shocking than keeping somebody on ice for three months so the Government can pay trillions of pounds to banks which already own most of the wealth in the world anyway.

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