Saturday 25 January 2020

Brexit Survival Kit

It is less than a week to go until Brexit, but it is not too late to purchase your very own Brexit survival kit. There are many options, some more expensive than others; but they tend to go for around the three hundred pound mark. This one is fairly typical of what's on offer. It contains numerous canned meals, a firelighter and a device for purifying water, see: Despite the life's essentials contained in the "Brexit Box," it lacks other things that we will definitely need in a post-Brexit world, like the zombie-killing gun. Presumably that is extra. However, what could never fit into the box are the nuclear tipped cruise missiles for taking down Godzilla. We will just have to hope that the army has a few of those. Nevertheless, surely a few doses of the drugs for treating the super-gonorrhoea that we will all inevitably come down with could be fitted inside the Brexit Box. For years now I have been trying to persuade people over and over that Brexit is nothing to be afraid of. It is actually a good thing. In the meantime, somebody else has been selling packets of groceries to frightened people for three hundred pounds a pop... I'm in the wrong business.

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